Archive for top ten

Top Five Horror movies of 2011

Posted in Updates with tags , , on December 24, 2011 by splatterpictures

It’s the end of the year and that means that I’m supposed to put my chips in about the top 10 horror movies of the year. This is a pretty daunting task when I look back at all of the horror that came out. It’s just totally unrealistic to have seen them all with any reliability. So my list is going to be composed of the five that stuck out that I did actually see. I am certain that I’m missing a real gem out there somewhere. I’ve also tried to mix it up a little and include different kinds of horror at the same time. Let’s do this.

5 – The Woman

When your girlfriend starts looking at you like this you might want to start working out an appology

A girl being picked out of the wild and “trained” to be civilized by a typical family; sounds like a pretty a good romp and it is. It was pretty obvious where a movie like this was heading but I just pure enjoyed it. If you guys haven’t seen it yet I obviously recommend that you do!

4 – Troll Hunter

Make my monster...GROOOOOOOW

This movie got a lot of coverage in the horror scene as it was coming out. I loved the concept and it was something I can honestly say I hadn’t really seen before. (Not the way it was shot but that it was about troll hunters) I think a lot in the community really paid attention to this because of that fact.

3 – The Innkeepers

"So that lady said to stay out of the basement?" "Right" "Okay let's go in the basement!"

I love ghost stories and while Innkeepers doesn’t really do anything original, it tells a satisfying little story of a haunted hotel. It was kinda a toss up between this and Grave Encounters, but I wanted a good mix of horror movies in here.

2 – Chromeskull: Laid to Rest 2

My reaction to every bit of remake news in the last two months.

I know this wasn’t everyone’s favourite movie but anyone who knows me knows I go to the slashers first and everything else second. I did a full review for this when it came out and have since watched it a couple times again and I just like it more and more. It did everything a sequel should. Up the body count, and fixed some of the off-beat moments in the first film. An all around great slasher.

1 – I saw the Devil

"the blood on your face really brings out the evil in your eyes"

I came across this movie quite by accident, this past Halloween, while it played on my cable packages movie network. (and I’ve seen it four times since then) I was just enthralled by the story. I saw the Devil, really went into some dark places but at no point was it gratuitous or exploitative. It’s a fantastic revenge story that really goes to show how bitter-sweet it can be.  Plus there is one sequence in a cab that is probably the most badass fight scene I saw in a movie all year. This has made it in a lot of the top spots and for good reason, honestly when I started putting this together I knew without a doubt in my mind this was going to be my number one.

Well that’s it. I wanted to post this on Horror-Movies.ca exclusively but they are slow to upload (probably has a lot to do with the season). I can’t wait to see what 2012 brings the world of horror!

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Top Ten Weirdest Moments in J-Grindhouse

Posted in Updates with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 7, 2011 by splatterpictures

One of the biggest guilty pleasures for me is Japanese Grindhouse. In the last decade or so, there has been something of a cottage industry surrounding a few special effects artists/ directors coming out of Japan in what is now known as Sushi Typhoon. Anyone who’s seen these splatterfests, know that if you want screwball comedy and countless buckets of gore, these are defiantly your best bet. That being said, they are weird. They are some of the weirdest movies I’ve ever seen. A lot of it is due to a cultural difference but really there is just no explaining some things. I’ve taken some of these films and put together my top ten of the weirdest moments. Here we go!

10 – Tempura Arm (The Machine Girl)

This one was always one of my favourites. In order to protect their child’s reputation a married couple attempt to kill the sister of a boy their son murdered. The mother dips her hand in a boiling pot and it comes out covered in Tempura. The weirdest thing to me is after this scene the girl’s hand looks completely fine.

9 – Helicopter Head (Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl)

During the films climax we learn that the Frankenstein girl has the power of flight, all she has to do is attach her severed limbs to the top of her head so they can spin around. Of course it all makes perfect sense!

8 – Boob Weapons (Samurai Princess)

 

This wouldn’t be the only film to do something weird with breasts. In fact pretty much every movie I mention has at least one scene that has something to do with weird breast weapons. Samurai Princess (yeah that’s her name) is a Mecha and naturally her breasts are detachable…weapons of some kind. I honestly have no idea how they are even supposed to work but they make a guys head explode, so bravo.

7 – Kamikaze gang (Psycho Gothic Lolita)

This movie overall was pretty light on the horror elements and heavy on the ridiculous anime elements. That being said it’s as exploitative as anything else. We are treated to a random fight between the psycho gothic chick and a bunch of guys who do flippy-trick martial arts and have silly poses. It plays out like it’s from a totally different movie.

6 – Guy eats bugs.  (Tokyo Gore Police)

 

This scene is so strange. There is just some guy on a subway eating bugs.  Complete with extreme close ups and speeding up the camera. The scene seems to go on forever. The character has nothing to do with anything, unless I don’t understand some deep meaning behind it. I have a habit of fast forwarding through this part.

5 – Penis Weapons (Tokyo Gore Police)

This happens in a lot of these Tokyo Shock films, the most well done (as if I am saying that) is probably Tokyo Gore Police. A lot of practical special effects and *cough* elephant sounds make this just too fucking weird.

4 – Nose Guns (Mutant Girls Squad)

So you decide to have a samurai police force in the not too distant future and you’re asking yourself. “How can I have the benefits of a gun without the hassle of carrying it?” Well the answer my friend is nose guns. Yeah, just have a ridiculous nose gun on all of your officers.

3 – Butt sword fight (Robo-Geisha)

Robo-Geisha is one of those movies than can’t slow down for a second or you’ll start to notice what an ungodly mess it is. That being said, it has a three-way butt sword fight that is just something you have to see to believe. The characters themselves acknowledge how embarrassing the entire thing is.

2 – Giant Kabuki Frankenstein (Vampire Girl vs Frankenstein Girl)

So just about ready to pack it in after watching VGvsFG and all of a sudden, a four story abomination that seems to be a sewn together mess of the movies two main antagonists shows up. I guess a vampire school-girls work is never done.

1 – The peeing chair (Tokyo Gore Police)

I honestly don’t even know what to say. I felt my brain fall apart the first time I ever saw it and it’s never gotten any less weird. It’s some kind of strip club or brothel where women who are “engineers” go on parade for a crowd of screaming fans. One looks like a skinned woman attached to a chair. She then pees on the crowd….the crowd goes wild. It’s hands down the most ridiculous thing I’ve seen.

Well there you have it. My personal top ten of weird J-Grindhouse moments. There are tonnes of these movies out there and I know I probably have missed some of your favourites. Leave comments below and let me know what I should subject my brain to next.

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