Archive for tokyo gore police

Top Ten Weirdest Moments in J-Grindhouse

Posted in Updates with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 7, 2011 by splatterpictures

One of the biggest guilty pleasures for me is Japanese Grindhouse. In the last decade or so, there has been something of a cottage industry surrounding a few special effects artists/ directors coming out of Japan in what is now known as Sushi Typhoon. Anyone who’s seen these splatterfests, know that if you want screwball comedy and countless buckets of gore, these are defiantly your best bet. That being said, they are weird. They are some of the weirdest movies I’ve ever seen. A lot of it is due to a cultural difference but really there is just no explaining some things. I’ve taken some of these films and put together my top ten of the weirdest moments. Here we go!

10 – Tempura Arm (The Machine Girl)

This one was always one of my favourites. In order to protect their child’s reputation a married couple attempt to kill the sister of a boy their son murdered. The mother dips her hand in a boiling pot and it comes out covered in Tempura. The weirdest thing to me is after this scene the girl’s hand looks completely fine.

9 – Helicopter Head (Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl)

During the films climax we learn that the Frankenstein girl has the power of flight, all she has to do is attach her severed limbs to the top of her head so they can spin around. Of course it all makes perfect sense!

8 – Boob Weapons (Samurai Princess)

 

This wouldn’t be the only film to do something weird with breasts. In fact pretty much every movie I mention has at least one scene that has something to do with weird breast weapons. Samurai Princess (yeah that’s her name) is a Mecha and naturally her breasts are detachable…weapons of some kind. I honestly have no idea how they are even supposed to work but they make a guys head explode, so bravo.

7 – Kamikaze gang (Psycho Gothic Lolita)

This movie overall was pretty light on the horror elements and heavy on the ridiculous anime elements. That being said it’s as exploitative as anything else. We are treated to a random fight between the psycho gothic chick and a bunch of guys who do flippy-trick martial arts and have silly poses. It plays out like it’s from a totally different movie.

6 – Guy eats bugs.  (Tokyo Gore Police)

 

This scene is so strange. There is just some guy on a subway eating bugs.  Complete with extreme close ups and speeding up the camera. The scene seems to go on forever. The character has nothing to do with anything, unless I don’t understand some deep meaning behind it. I have a habit of fast forwarding through this part.

5 – Penis Weapons (Tokyo Gore Police)

This happens in a lot of these Tokyo Shock films, the most well done (as if I am saying that) is probably Tokyo Gore Police. A lot of practical special effects and *cough* elephant sounds make this just too fucking weird.

4 – Nose Guns (Mutant Girls Squad)

So you decide to have a samurai police force in the not too distant future and you’re asking yourself. “How can I have the benefits of a gun without the hassle of carrying it?” Well the answer my friend is nose guns. Yeah, just have a ridiculous nose gun on all of your officers.

3 – Butt sword fight (Robo-Geisha)

Robo-Geisha is one of those movies than can’t slow down for a second or you’ll start to notice what an ungodly mess it is. That being said, it has a three-way butt sword fight that is just something you have to see to believe. The characters themselves acknowledge how embarrassing the entire thing is.

2 – Giant Kabuki Frankenstein (Vampire Girl vs Frankenstein Girl)

So just about ready to pack it in after watching VGvsFG and all of a sudden, a four story abomination that seems to be a sewn together mess of the movies two main antagonists shows up. I guess a vampire school-girls work is never done.

1 – The peeing chair (Tokyo Gore Police)

I honestly don’t even know what to say. I felt my brain fall apart the first time I ever saw it and it’s never gotten any less weird. It’s some kind of strip club or brothel where women who are “engineers” go on parade for a crowd of screaming fans. One looks like a skinned woman attached to a chair. She then pees on the crowd….the crowd goes wild. It’s hands down the most ridiculous thing I’ve seen.

Well there you have it. My personal top ten of weird J-Grindhouse moments. There are tonnes of these movies out there and I know I probably have missed some of your favourites. Leave comments below and let me know what I should subject my brain to next.

Tokyo Gore Police

Posted in Horror Showcase, Updates with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 15, 2011 by splatterpictures


Well it’s time to dive head first into another horror showcase, and do I have a twisted one for you today. We’re going to be Talking about Tokyo Gore Police.

Let me just preface this entire thing by telling you that you have never seen anything like this. I’ve tried countless times to explain this movie to a lot of different people and I usually get about half-way through before I get “the look”. You know the look I’m talking about, the “what the fuck is he on” look. I’ve talked a lot lately about older horror films and looking back on my blog as a whole, they are all pretty tame by today’s standards. (Obviously not including Cannibal Holocaust on that one)

I’ve lectured a lot of people on horror movies over the years and what I’ve learned is that most people just aren’t aware of the stuff that comes out of other countries. Italy, Japan, Brazil, and Mexico, for instance, all push the limits of gore.

Oh, but we aren’t talking about just any gory movie. We are talking about Tokyo -GORE- Police. It’s right in the title, so buckle up. Just a word of warning: the trailer I’m linking you is -not- safe for work.

It’s hard for me to even know where to start. Tokyo Gore Police was released in 2008 by the good people at Media Blaster. They were so impressed by Yoshihiro Nishimura’s special effects work on their previous hit, Machine Girl, that they asked him to hold the reins of this one. Media Blasters has a reputation of pulling out the stops of their films before. The really crazy stuff gets released through their Tokyo Shock label, and “Shock” is putting it mildly.

Alright so I bet you’re just dying to know what this movie is about, so I will try my very best to make it as simple as possible. It’s the not-too-distant future and the Tokyo Police have become privatized. There is a single mandate to all crime, and that is to kill the criminal as quickly and brutally as possible. Of course nothing is as simple as that. Among the people that have been targeted as criminals are what are known as “engineers.” These are people that have strange key-shaped tumours in their bodies, tumors that allow –any- injury to be reformed into a weapon. That’s right. Did you lose your arm? No problem, you now have a meat-like sword arm. Did you lose the top of your head? No problem, you now have an exposed brain with eye-ball guns. There is absolutely one scene I have to mention. A guy gets his dick bit off and yes, he gets a giant dick gun. No I am not kidding!

The main character is, as usual, a sexy katana-wielding cop named Ruka (Eihi Shiina). The actress has been in a couple of Media Blasters pictures that I can think of, but nothing major and performs well in her role. Her character has a dark past and a nasty habit of cutting herself that she seems to have gotten from her mother. Her father was killed by an unknown assassin and the movie shows her battling these engineers and piecing together who killed her father and why. It has a surprisingly solid story for this kind of movie that is easy to get into.

The actions scenes are intense. The first five minutes alone set the tone and, I promise you, they have things you’ve never seen before. Girls with blades for arms and legs, acid breast milk, flying chainsaw arms… I could go on and on. It is also important to note that, despite being a dark movie, it contains a lot of comedy. I find that the gore effects are so over the top that they end up being funny. You laugh just because it’s to so bizarre! They also have a lot of propaganda commercials and other ads throughout the film that are pretty funny.

One thing I really like about this film is that, for the most part, it uses traditional special effects. A lot of these Japanese grindhouse movies over the last few years have relied heavily on CGI and, while I get that some CGI is required to produce images that would be otherwise difficult, I would like them to return to the visual style of this movie. They have some CGI sure, but only in scenes where it would be nearly impossible without it.

Tokyo Gore Police has enough blood and guts to satisfy –any- gore hound (the last killing montage is just insane), and also has a good mix of story and comedy. Of all the Toyo Shock Films, it’s probably one of my favourites. Check it out if you think you have the stomach.