Archive for Horror Comedy

Top Ten Weirdest Moments in J-Grindhouse

Posted in Updates with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 7, 2011 by splatterpictures

One of the biggest guilty pleasures for me is Japanese Grindhouse. In the last decade or so, there has been something of a cottage industry surrounding a few special effects artists/ directors coming out of Japan in what is now known as Sushi Typhoon. Anyone who’s seen these splatterfests, know that if you want screwball comedy and countless buckets of gore, these are defiantly your best bet. That being said, they are weird. They are some of the weirdest movies I’ve ever seen. A lot of it is due to a cultural difference but really there is just no explaining some things. I’ve taken some of these films and put together my top ten of the weirdest moments. Here we go!

10 – Tempura Arm (The Machine Girl)

This one was always one of my favourites. In order to protect their child’s reputation a married couple attempt to kill the sister of a boy their son murdered. The mother dips her hand in a boiling pot and it comes out covered in Tempura. The weirdest thing to me is after this scene the girl’s hand looks completely fine.

9 – Helicopter Head (Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl)

During the films climax we learn that the Frankenstein girl has the power of flight, all she has to do is attach her severed limbs to the top of her head so they can spin around. Of course it all makes perfect sense!

8 – Boob Weapons (Samurai Princess)

 

This wouldn’t be the only film to do something weird with breasts. In fact pretty much every movie I mention has at least one scene that has something to do with weird breast weapons. Samurai Princess (yeah that’s her name) is a Mecha and naturally her breasts are detachable…weapons of some kind. I honestly have no idea how they are even supposed to work but they make a guys head explode, so bravo.

7 – Kamikaze gang (Psycho Gothic Lolita)

This movie overall was pretty light on the horror elements and heavy on the ridiculous anime elements. That being said it’s as exploitative as anything else. We are treated to a random fight between the psycho gothic chick and a bunch of guys who do flippy-trick martial arts and have silly poses. It plays out like it’s from a totally different movie.

6 – Guy eats bugs.  (Tokyo Gore Police)

 

This scene is so strange. There is just some guy on a subway eating bugs.  Complete with extreme close ups and speeding up the camera. The scene seems to go on forever. The character has nothing to do with anything, unless I don’t understand some deep meaning behind it. I have a habit of fast forwarding through this part.

5 – Penis Weapons (Tokyo Gore Police)

This happens in a lot of these Tokyo Shock films, the most well done (as if I am saying that) is probably Tokyo Gore Police. A lot of practical special effects and *cough* elephant sounds make this just too fucking weird.

4 – Nose Guns (Mutant Girls Squad)

So you decide to have a samurai police force in the not too distant future and you’re asking yourself. “How can I have the benefits of a gun without the hassle of carrying it?” Well the answer my friend is nose guns. Yeah, just have a ridiculous nose gun on all of your officers.

3 – Butt sword fight (Robo-Geisha)

Robo-Geisha is one of those movies than can’t slow down for a second or you’ll start to notice what an ungodly mess it is. That being said, it has a three-way butt sword fight that is just something you have to see to believe. The characters themselves acknowledge how embarrassing the entire thing is.

2 – Giant Kabuki Frankenstein (Vampire Girl vs Frankenstein Girl)

So just about ready to pack it in after watching VGvsFG and all of a sudden, a four story abomination that seems to be a sewn together mess of the movies two main antagonists shows up. I guess a vampire school-girls work is never done.

1 – The peeing chair (Tokyo Gore Police)

I honestly don’t even know what to say. I felt my brain fall apart the first time I ever saw it and it’s never gotten any less weird. It’s some kind of strip club or brothel where women who are “engineers” go on parade for a crowd of screaming fans. One looks like a skinned woman attached to a chair. She then pees on the crowd….the crowd goes wild. It’s hands down the most ridiculous thing I’ve seen.

Well there you have it. My personal top ten of weird J-Grindhouse moments. There are tonnes of these movies out there and I know I probably have missed some of your favourites. Leave comments below and let me know what I should subject my brain to next.

The Abominable Dr. Phibes (Nine Eternities in Doom!)

Posted in Horror Showcase, Updates with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on September 1, 2011 by splatterpictures

Well when I do one thing it makes me think of another and sooner or later you have yourself a theme. We’re going to be showcasing another Vincent Price movie to kick off September and boy do I have a great one.

The 1970’s would see a lot of changes in the horror genre and the film industry in general. The ratings system by the motion pictures association was implemented, which is funny to think of as a new thing. The Gothic style of horror had gone the way of the Dodo after decades of being the formula for horror. Also, the post nuclear sci-fi was also proving to be less successful and audiences were ready for something new. They wanted something edgier, since we’re talking about a generation raised in the 1960’s it’s no wonder. Censorship laws were loosening and filmmakers wanted to push the limits.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Black Christmas, The Exorcist, The Omen, and Halloween I could go on and on. These new films were different; they were closer to home, smaller more realistic settings in suburban homes or neighborhoods. Or someplace that could be a little more than an hour out of town. Places that could excite people’s imaginations and make them question what that shadow outside the window was. There was more gore, nudity and bad language than you could shake a stick at, and the audiences went to see these films in droves. They made the films about the teenagers that were seeing them and it worked.

Before all of that, there was one film that sticks out in the early 70’s that really was a transitional movie. It had the grand sets and music of the older Gothic horrors, but it pushed the limits of gore for its age. To top it all off it had an amazing cast that starred Vincent Price in his 100th film; The Abominable Dr. Phibes.

Released in 1971, by MGM, The Abominable Dr. Phibes would build upon the tragic monster character that was made famous in the Phantom of the Opera. The film opens up with a grand set that is Dr. Phibes home, we see a cloaked man, playing the organ with dramatic flair and enters a tall thin woman, in a pretty seventies interpretation of stylish wear, (which is weird because the movie is supposed to take place in 1925) they dance and it’s all very theatrical. There is also a really creepy clockwork band playing called “Dr. Phibes Clockwork Wizards” It’s a really surreal opening and it has no dialogue at all.

A series of strange murders start to occur, a man found dead in his room tore to shreds by bats, normally found in the tropics. The man was named Dr. Dunwoody and he wasn’t the first noted surgeon to be killed. Before (and off camera I guess) Professor Thornton was stung to death by bees. These two murders are not enough to call it a trend they police aren’t convinced they are related except for inspector Harry Trout (Peter Jeffery). Soon after (possibly the weirdest death scenes I’ve ever seen,) Dr. Hargreaves head is crushed inside a mechanical frog’s mask at some kind of masquerade party.

As each one of these death’s occur the police try to find a connection, but aside from them all being in the medical profession, they see no pattern. It’s not until the find Dr. Vesalius (Joseph Cotton) that they begin to piece it all together. All of the doctors being targeted worked together on one case. It seemed that his wife Victoria Phibes was sick and while she was being operated on by the team of seven doctors and one nurse; she died. Phibes is believe to be dead because on the on the way to see her, his car went over the side of a mountain and he was presumably killed. Trout has a gut feeling that Phibes isn’t dead and in this case he would be right.

He survived but his face was horribly disfigured and was left unable to speak. He wants revenge against the incompetent doctors that he says murdered her; nine to suffer his elaborate murders, all in the theme of the ten plagues of Egypt. (The ninth presumably would be himself)

Phibes is a friggin genius and the police can’t seem to do anything to stop him, even when they know who he’s going to kill. For a guy who’s apparent doctorates lie in music and theology he is an amazing inventor. Not only does he invent a machine, which is basically a gramophone hooked up to his neck to speak, he also creates a bunch clockwork people (his band) and other strange devices. (he actually makes a device that made a car 100 degrees below freezing)

He also has his badass silent assistant named Vulnavia played by the absolutely beautiful Virgina North. It never explains who she is or why she helps him, but she is his public face who handles a lot of day to day stuff for Phibes. She is also his accomplice to most of the murders. Originally in the script it was to be explained that she was actually just another of his clockwork creations but they decided against it, which was too bad because that would elevate her to “super-badass”.

There are a lot of hilariously campy things in this movie. The clockwork band itself is great aswell as the weird masks at the Masquerade but other things really made me laugh too. One death is lead into by one of the doctors watching the equivalent of 1925 porn. He hooks up this huge camera to play some woman belly dancing with a snake while her turns the crank all turned on, and sucking back scotch it. Another great what the fuck moment was when one of the last doctors killed was done in by a brass unicorn head being catapulted across the street and into his chest. They try to get him off the wall by spinning him around like a top. The police chief even says “I’m at a loss for words” well so am I chief, so am I. He also drives around in a car that has his profile painted on both sides of the window which is just fucked up.

There are a lot of things I can’t help but notice. The most glaring thing is how this sort of tragic, revenge for his wife, and wanting to be with her jazz really reminded me a mister freeze. It made me wonder if this might be one of the sources of inspiration, especially in the scenes where he is talking to his dead wife’s picture.

The last sequence is just fantastic and I’m going to spoil it because I need to, in order to make my next point. So SPOILER ALERT. Dr. Vesalius plague is; death of the first born. Phibes and his assistant kidnap the doctor’s son and lure him to Phibes home. Vesalius has six minutes to remove a key lodged in his son’s heart. The same six minutes his wife had on the operating table before she died. The key unlocks a chain around the boy’s neck that is secured to the operating table. Phibes set up this acid to trickle down and land on the boy’s face if the key isn’t retrieved. All the while Phibes taunts the doctor and it’s just fucking amazingly well done. This entire sequence is so similar of the recent saw series and the Jigsaw killer that it’s kind of hard to imagine this wasn’t part of the inspiration.

Doctor Phibes is an awesome villain, part mad doctor, part Phantom and part Jigsaw killer. It makes for a truly amazing character that really carries the entire film. So much so that it spawned a sequel Dr. Phibes Rides Again. It’s just as good and I actually got them both on one dvd for five bucks. I highly recommend you find these films and give them a watch.

See you next time and thanks for reading!

Thanks for reading!

Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon

Posted in Horror Showcase, Ode to the Unsung Slasher, Updates with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 11, 2011 by splatterpictures

The weirdest thing in the world to me is breaking down a film. I mean don’t get me wrong, I do it all the time, but for the most part I take what I see for what I get. I never took any sort of film studies course I just kinda watch things and “notice stuff”.

When you watch enough of anything you find all kinds of trends, whether it’s in a television series, or a certain author’s work. It’s especially noticeable when you start looking at entire genres of film.

I think it’s safe to say that when it comes to horror, people have parodied it, mocked it, paid homage, and downright insulted it. A lot of times people feel they are being clever but dumb it down a lot(Like Wes Craven’s scream series) Other times it’s just a quick buck piggy banking on stuff that’s already popular (Scary movie series). I really never had much time for those types of films. I always thought that Scream was just lame. Although, with four movies behind it, maybe I’m the one with the problem.

This brings me to our latest and greatest Splatterpictures; Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon. The flick dropped in 2006 and was directed by Scott Glosserman. It was written by him aswell and distributed through Anchor Bay (I swear they should put me on their pay role with how often I seem to be talking about them).

The movie is shot like a documentary in a world (I did the epic movie guy voice thing in my head) where the slashers of film are real. They set this up pretty well, referencing Halloween, Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street.

The film crew is apparently following around a new slasher wanting to make a name for himself; Leslie Vernon (Nathan Baesel). How they got the idea to do this isn’t really clear and neither is what they think this will all lead to. They go through Leslie’s set up to his “big night” the start of his Legacy. He tells them his story of how he is supposedly the returned spirit of a boy killed by the townspeople. He takes them to his “house” where this will all go down and proceeds to walk them through his “plan”. Honestly what follows is probably the most dead on and hilarious break down of a horror movie I’ve ever seen. It pays homage to horror in a way that is really fun to watch. They talk about everything. The selection of their victims and why, sure Scream did that but think of Scream like cole’s notes compared to Behind the Mask.

A lot of things they mentioned had great moments of “oh yeah I noticed that” Like why they always let some couple have sex before killing them. Why they hide the bodies until the last moment. How about why the phones never work, or the lights go out? Or maybe why weapons always seem to break or killers never seem to stay dead? One moment in particular had me laughing is when Leslie is discussing how much cardio he has to do to give the illusion that he is walking, while everyone else is running away.

There is also a beauty to his plan, and it also shows a more subtle side of the killer that nobody really gets to see. There are moments where Leslie’s true nature peeks through in bursts of anger or when he goes on long obsessive rants about the legacy he is trying to create with his “survivor girl” and how everything he does is for her I really felt like I was sitting through a film class when they start getting into the phallic imagery of a killers weapon and what it means for said survivor girl to use it against the killer.

This movie is first and foremost a comedy and it’s a pretty damn good one. The nice thing is that while I always felt movies like scream were poking fun at horror for the general audience; Behind the Mask seems to have been made for true fans. In the same sort of way that the Comic Series Hack/Slash is for horror fans in that it doesn’t take you through all the obvious references. Sure they talk about the big killers that we are all familiar with but it also goes deeper making direct references or illusions to lesser known horror films or obscure uses of minor things from major films.

During the early parts of the movie, the film crew join Leslie as he visits an old friend and mentor who was a masked killer aswell (now retired). He talks about how “In the old days” it was all about getting in, killing everybody and getting out without anybody ever knowing. That is pretty much the entire plot of Black Christmas (arguably the first slasher film). There are a lot of subtle sight gags, like the “Stay awake” pills from Nightmare, or the Red Rabbit Inn from Halloween.

They also have some great Cameos by Kane Hodder as a guy living in the Elm Street House (he played Jason in Friday the 13th). Of course, the big Cameo is Robert Englund as Doctor Halloran who Leslie refers to as his “Ahab” basically a person who has made it his personal goal to track down and stop his evil. In other words a character type made famous in Halloween with Doctor Lumis.

By far the most amazing Cameo is by Zelda Rubenstein (she played the famous role of the medium in Poltergeist) she delivers her usual creepy speech to perfection.

You’d think that after people start dying the film crew would grow a conscious and try to Stop Leslie’s plan and want to save the teenagers and they do, but it becomes obvious that this was all accounted for. It has a great ending with all the clichés and overall I highly recommend checking this out.

My one complaint is kind of a big one though. I don’t know if it was the DVD that I had and another version exist but there was nothing in the way of gore. The deaths aren’t all that great, some are pretty good but they all cut away before anything is shown, or even worse they happen off camera with just audio. Now, why would they go to all the trouble of carefully crafting references, getting horror icons for cameos and making this movie if they weren’t going to put some gore in it? I have no idea. Like I said maybe it was just the version I had and there is a directors cut out there somewhere.

It’s made even worse by the fact that a lot of casual viewers probably wouldn’t be half as entertained as I was with all the references and jokes. So that leaves more serious fans with a great slasher movie but without a lot of good or memorable kills.

Charles Band Spotlight (Part 2: Ghoulies)

Posted in Horror Showcase, Updates with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on July 22, 2011 by splatterpictures

Welcome back to our look at Charles Band productions. Last time we checked out his most famous works, which was the Puppet Master franchise. Next up we have a film that I actually had no idea his name was even on. This time we’re hitting up Ghoulies.

When I’m talking about iconic box art, I think a lot of people can remember Ghoulies. In fact I remember this movie kind of came back for me when I was trying to remember the name of it. My friend and I were standing there trying with all out might to remember what the name of the movie with “the little monsters coming out of the toilet on the cover”

I definitely remember this movie from when I was a kid in the video store. I just wish that the box art wasn’t the best thing about this it. Before we go into the movie, let’s talk about that cover. So we have a Ghoulie coming out of a toilet? I always wondered what that was supposed to imply. The story goes that, they just sent the image to the studio as a joke, but it tested so well that they actually filmed a scene in the movie with it after the fact. Oddly though, in the picture that Ghoulie is wearing a t-shirt and suspenders. He’s actually naked in the movie so…yeah weird.

Ghoulies was released by MGM on good old fashioned analog in 1985. It was supposed to be directed by Charles Band himself but that “honour” went to Luca Bercovici.Band kept the producing credit by way of Empire Pictures, which he was a part of before Full Moon. It achieved moderate success on the home video front. It’s a horror-comedy and for a movie that came out before Puppet Master, it really showcased Bands “leanings” I guess you could say. He always seems to have, the idea of a big mansion with a bunch of hapless people in it. Add a bunch of little guys that are adorable while being deadly and you have the basic premise.

I really wish I could give you a real idea about what goes on in this movie, but it’s so absolutely all over the place it’s kinda hard. The entire movie jumps from scene to scene and situation to situation. Even with all of the strange decisions about editing, it’s not a complex plot by any means.

Basically Jonathan and his girlfriend Rebecca move into a big old mansion that belonged to Jonathan’s parents. The idea is that they’ll fix up the house while going to college. It doesn’t take long until Jonathan discovers old books about black magic and satanic rituals. He becomes compelled to perform these rituals by some unknown dark force.

They throw a party and for some reason decide that a good time killer would be holding a summoning of some kind. Like that would honestly be suggested at a party with a bunch of college kids. “Hey guys, who wants to summon demons?” They didn’t strike me as the D&D crowd. They do the ritual but nothing happens right away; of course though they managed to summon one of the Ghoulies that looks like a rat on steroids.

Jonathan starts to act stranger and stranger, the scene where Rebecca finds out he has been moonlighting as a Satanist is hilarious. Picture this guy in the basement in a fancy robe with a fucking trident that looks like it was made by a high school theatre class. He’s there just screaming his lungs out and boom, his girlfriend walks in with a well placed “What are you doing?” He just stands there looking totally shocked like she just caught him jerking off to some messed up porn. Worse! She caught you roleplaying!

The acting in this movie is cheesy as all hell. It’s not the worst I’ve ever seen but it’s pretty bad. Dialogue is so stiff and completely random. Attempts at humour are pretty awkward. It’s even worse when they are trying to be dramatic. One scene, Rebecca is trying to run away from Jonathan who is pretty far gone at this point, she falls down the stairs and while she is falling she screams “Why Jonathan why!?” Needless to say the parts that are supposed to be serious will get the best laughs.

I know what you’re thinking, this post is half over and you haven’t said anything about the “Ghoulies” yet. You know what this movie is actually about? Well welcome to my world. The Ghoulies don’t actually show up to do anything until about halfway.

The Ghoulies seem to be summoned to do the bidding of whoever is calling them. In that way they’re loyal to Jonathan. They look ridiculous, even by 80’s creature standards. They’re clearly just fancy hand puppets, sprayed with water to make them look slimy or something. Some scenes are decent with them, but most of the time all I kept thinking of was how they are like Jim Henson’s nightmare.

Oh I forgot, the Ghoulies aren’t the only things that get summoned, there is also two midget servants named Gizzel and Greedigut. They seem to be just more powerful servants, who have knowledge of magic.

The mysterious dark force drives Jonathan to perform one big ritual, and it all becomes clear who was really pulling his strings and who truly commands the Ghoulies.

The “deaths” if you could call them that, all come at the very end and in quick succession of eachother. I put deaths in quotations because…fuck it I’m spoiling something. For some reason, they all are alive again at the end of the movie. They get chewed up and attacked by the Ghoulies and other things. Then they all writher and snake their way to the basement like zombies; then at the very end they all run out of the house together, no injuries whatsoever. I seriously don’t get it.

When I was young this movie was great, but I think that it really is an example about how some things just don’t age well as you get older. The special effects are bad, the creatures are pretty bad and whatever plot there is, isn’t exactly inspired. Even by horror movie standards. That being said, Ghoulies spawned a bunch of sequels and pretty good cult following. I should point out that this movie is fucking Shakespeare compares to Ghoulies III: Ghoulies go to College.

Stay tuned, we’re gonna take a look at one More Charles Band Production before we close the toy box on this one.

Thanks for Reading!